It is difficult for me to understand why people behave the way they do. Sometimes you see people getting very angry and sometimes you see people doing something over and over again hoping it will be perfect. My Bubie says that anger can be dangerous because it can cause us to do and say things that are very hurtful to others and often, we cannot take back what we did or said. Also, she says that it is not important to be perfect, just to do the best we can. However, sometimes, in a person’s head they feel that by doing something over and over again they will eventually be perfect and that makes them calm. The problem is that if we do that, we never move on to do all of the many things that we want to accomplish in our lives.
This story is about a very kind person who needed help to move forward in his life. He finds the help in the most interesting of objects, goose eggs and feathers. Fradella
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My Bubie says that as soon as we are big enough to talk and to understand we are told what is acceptable and what is not. These are rules. Sometimes they are written down and sometimes we are just told them, orally. Each group and every society have a set of rules that the people are expected to follow. Usually, if you don’t follow the rules you get punished. That is why most people follow the rules. Some people follow the rules because they understand that it is good for them and for others.
I asked my Bubie if there was ever a time when a person shouldn’t follow the rules and how would they know if it was that time or not? My Bubie told me that was a good question but not an easy one to answer and then she told me the following story. Fradella There are times when we are young and we need to take a lot of responsibility to do the things that must get done. When you have a large family, everyone has to help and often what is important to you doesn’t happen. My Bubie says that this can be difficult but it also has its blessings. It means that you learn how to do things by yourself and after that, you become stronger in your belief that you can do things on your own. However, my Bubie thinks that it is important to get help too. Sometimes help can come from a parent, a friend, a neighbor, a Bubie, a Zada, a Rav or a teacher. Sometimes help can come from a person in a uniform or a person who seems like a simple worker who just wants to aid you in fulfilling the mission that you have set for yourself. Bubie says that help comes if your mission is important, true, real and if you make your own efforts, what we call, hishtadlut.
Here is a story about a very motivated young boy who had a desire to build his family a succah for the Succoth holidays. Fradella Sometimes we are taught that other people and their ideas are dangerous and we should stay away from them. My Bubie believes that it is important to be strong in your values and your beliefs but also to be open to hearing, learning and trying to understand other people’s ideas. She says that there is a saying that, you cannot judge another person until you have walked in his shoes. This means that you need to experience what their life is like before you can judge them; although you can judge if their behavior is hurtful.
One way that we can make our world better is to try to understand each other and accept one another for who we are. This is especially if they are different from us, as long as they are good people who try to help others and make the world a better place in which to live. This next story is about two girls from two different neighborhoods who become friends, and walk in each other's shoes, in spite of the fact that their shoes seem to have different paths. Fradella Where I live, there are not enough girls’ schools, and it is very difficult to get accepted to any of them. The schools are looking for girls who are the same in dress, family, and behavior. My Bubie believes that all children should have an education, both girls and boys. There are many ways to learn but school is an important place for children to learn not just skills but also how to play and work with others, how to listen to each other, and how to share different ideas. I’m not sure if everyone would agree with my Bubie but the next story is about a young girl who desperately wanted to learn in school, and no one would accept her. She had to make a big decision on her own.
Fradella The whole world is fighting a very bad virus now and so anyone who even gets near someone who has it or works someplace where two people have the virus they must stay at home, not go out or have anyone come to their house. My Bubie teaches at a school where two teachers got the virus and so everyone in the school was put in what we call, Bidud Bayit, or home quarantine. I don’t really understand about viruses and I was really curious about what Bubie can and cannot do in Bidud, so the following story helped me to understand.
-Fradella My Bubie loves colors. She dresses in colors and loves to see paintings and art that has colors and textures. It is hard for my Bubie to see us only allowed to wear dark colors. She dreams that someday she will be able to take us to the shops and buy us outfits that bring out all of the colors of the world. The next story is about girls who find their own way to bring colors into their lives.
Fradella My Bubie loves to swim. She goes to the pool every morning, except for Shabbat and Holidays, and swims back and forth for over an hour. Bubie says that water gives life, not just to drink it, since most of our bodies are made of water, but also to surround ourselves with the healing power of water. My parents won’t let us learn how to swim. My brother goes to a pool with his friends but does not take lessons and my sisters and I are not allowed to go to a pool or the beach to swim, even if there are only ladies. I am not sure why this is but this is what it is. The next story is about a girl who desperately wants to go swimming and a carp (a type of fish) who becomes her friend.
Fradella My Bubie believes that people can speak to us in our dreams. She says that there have been many times when her Bubie and Zada came to her in dreams to help her to calm down when she was worried about something. One time, her great Zada even came to her in a dream and spoke Yiddish to her and she understood and spoke Yiddish back to him! Also, one time, a girl who could not speak at all, whom my Bubie was helping to do a Bat Mitzvah, came to her in a dream and spoke to her. No one has spoken to me in my dreams, yet, but here is a story about children with disabilities who came and spoke to children while they were asleep and dreaming.
Fradella My Bubie gets worried sometimes because she knows that there are people who may hurt or scare children or do things that she says is not appropriate (that means it is not good or right). She always tells us that if we feel uncomfortable in a place, even if it is with people we know, we need to leave and we need to tell our parents or our Bubie and Zada about what made us upset. I am good at saying ‘No’ when I don’t want to do something or it doesn’t feel right, but some children need to learn this, as you can read in the next story.
Fradella |